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I see things as they really are.

I paid attention to the man behind the curtain.

I think Lou Dobbs is not of this world.

Fox News Channel has too many commercials.

I want Joe Scarborough's job. He shows up never.

Farting is fundamental.

"Wild N' Out" is BRILLIANT. So is Graham Norton.

I love to hate, but hate to love.

I think Bill O'Reilly secretly wears women's underwear.

John McCain doesn't have "it". He needs a VP who does.

Don Imus and those who think/speak like him, needs to die.

Think we need more government? Visit Social Security and try begging for your own money.

MSNBC is "The Barack Obama Channel".

"Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" is a chick flick.

I hate chick flicks, except for "Beaches" and "The Butcher's Wife". They were exceptions to my rule.

There are no rules.

If you lived B.C., would you know it?

Why are purses so important to women?

Europeans think Americans are too uptight.

France has a porn channel available on regular TV.

Someone else needs to dress Shepard Smith.

I love cigars, but would never accept one from Bill.

Hillary keeps sending me money requests.

I gave $1 to the homeless guy on the subway.

The mayor from a city in Indiana who drives a Hummer is a moron.

If God created man in his own image, John Lithgow is God.

Why no re-runs of "3rd Rock from the Sun"?

Cher is God, too.

I prefer single ply toilet paper.

Ron Maestri
www.ronmaestri.com